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Thursday, 12 April 2007
As warned in a previous blog, part two of my Judge Rudy (Judge Kudy parody). For a brief time I used Judge Rudy and faithful court bailiff Wendy to exorcise some demons. Part twom where I decide what new shows to put some Port Charles characters after the show was canned, is a little better than the first one. Part three is previewed at the end of the blog. Well not really, but a few lines reveal where I'm going next. (I put a star near the important section) Cheap way to get out of a blog? You bet, but it could also mean the end of a year and a half long writers block. Soap Opera Court Part Two: Judge Rudy Decides the fate of a few PC'rs(Scene:Judges chamber. Rudy and her trusty Bailiff Wendy are watching the noon news) Reporter Mandy Newton: Shocking news as the ABC soap Port Charles is canceled due to low ratings! This soap was a spin-off of the long running General Hospital. In the last year or so the soap has been running 13 week "book" storylines that wrapped on week 13, allowing costs to run much cheaper. Anchorman Ron Killie: (a smiling dimply guy with enormous teeth) Didn't work, still sucked! Reporter Mandy Newton: (smiling and through clenched teeth) We're on the air! Anchorman Ron Killie: I don't care! Reporter Mandy Newton: For weeks to come, these newly unemployed actors will finish up their last storyline. Help wanted! Back to you Ron. (Wendy turns it off) Bailiff Wendy: You know what this means? Judge Rudy: Whatever romance Ron and Mandy have is over? Bailiff Wendy: No! Soap people out of jobs! (She jumps up) Something must be done. (Dramatically looks at Rudy) Judge Rudy: (Jumps up) You're right! We must get them the number to our agent. (Wendy shakes her head) Send over a fruit basket? Maybe thats redundant. I know! (She points at the sky) We must find a new place for these people! Wendy! Round up the usual suspects! (Lightening crashes, lights go out.) Fix that fuse! Next day Announcer: This is a special edition of Judge Rudys Court: Unemployment line! The defendants will speak the truth or be shot on sight...oh wait this is the script for the new CSI show, sorry. You will get a new job on tv, and like it! Or get shot on sight. I know its not in there, I don't care....Is that Wendy Malick in the courtroom? Shes checking me out! Bailiff Wendy: Kill microphone! (Feedback screeches in the courtroom) Will the litigants please approach the bench? Cue mike! Announcer: The first two litigiants are the more supernatual beings on the show, Caleb Morley, bloodsucking vampire singer....and a true angel Rafe. Judge Rudy: Good lord, a rock star vampire. You better hope Lestat doesnt sue. (Caleb does a "nah!" scary face) Oh please, I'm just shaking in my shoes. Oh looky here. (She shows a large garlic clove and a cross and stake) Try anything funny, and you dont even get to choose whats behind door number three. Caleb: Fine. Where I go my groupies follow. Judge Rudy: Your groupies have been reassigned to the Rolling Stones! Caleb: They are even older than me! Judge Rudy: And the angel. Ok you die and go to heaven, you dont do the reverse. Rafe: We all have true love waiting for us here, on earth. That is what I came for. Judge Rudy: You ever see "City of Angels?" You see what happened to Nic Cage when he became a fallen angel? He lost the girl! Bailiff Wendy: Pow! Judge Rudy: Thank you Wendy. Bailiff Wendy: Just doing my job. Judge Rudy: Good news, I wont be doing the decision making. (court cheers) Bad news, the soap-tom-atron 3001 will do it for us. Bring the WHEEEEEELL! (The word wheel echoes through the courtroom. Rafe cringes.) I bought an echoing mike and darn it I'm gonna use it. (She walks to the wheel) One turn and your date with fate is made, uh mate. Rafe: I'd like to buy a vowel! (Someone throws a tomato at him) OW! Judge Rudy: Please dont waste food! Bailiff Wendy, if you will do the honors. (Bailiff Wendy spins the wheel. It lands on a planatoid symbol.) Judge Rudy: Oh uh, seems you are relegated to crap retread sci fi movies for the space channel for the rest of your life! And it gets worse, you will always die by the end of the first reel! (cackles) Take him away. (Bailiff Wendy leads him out of the room. A loud scream is heard.) Uh oh. She didnt just lead him into a well lit room, did she? OOpsie. (Bailiff Wendy comes back in and shrugs.) I might note shes nursing a grudge, hates how bad the show got. Bailiff Wendy: (Growls) Judge Rudy: Now the angel. (Spins the wheel, it stops at PAX tv logo) Looks like you are going to be guest star on Touched By An Angel! Bailiff Wendy: It's been off the air for months! Judge Rudy: (low voice) Don't let him know that. He can always hope for a reunion movie. Take him away! I need new vic....defendants! Announcer: Ian Thornhart is Irish and studly! Lucy Coe Jones Quatermaine Stanton Baldwin Collins is a woman who's been married almost as many times as Erica Kane! Judge Rudy: Ian, Ian, of the cable knit sweater clan. How are we? Ian: Great. (he smiles) Judge Rudy: I can't do this, he's sooo cute. (She sighs). Fortunately modern machinery is here to help. Your crime is adding one more male to the already confusing Port Charles dating scene. Who ARE you with this week? Ian: (thinks) I'm unsure. Could be her. (Indicates Lucy) Lucy: Huh? Judge Rudy: Pay attention honey, this will go easier. (Nods head) Hit it! (Bailiff Wendy spins the wheel, it lands on "Elimindate delux") Ian: Sweet! Four chicks at once! Judge Rudy: I'm afraid you are mistaken, this is the special "Jerry Springer Traylor..." Traylor??? "Trailer trash edition". Ian: But my handsome looks! Wasted on women with four teeth. (Wendy drags him away). Bailiff Wendy: Its ok, and hey, I think one of them is bringing her mom! (Ian makes a horrified face) Judge Rudy: Lucy....Its now your turn..(Lucys not paying attention, looking in a makeup compact.) Lucy! Lucy: (snaps compact closed) What? Judge Rudy: Says here you are a vampire slayer. Can't be too good, half the towns roaming with vampires. Then again if you tune to General Hospital you wouldn't know it was the same town. Lucy: I try very hard, but they just keep popping up. Like a bad dream. Bailiff Wendy: Yeah tell me about it. (Everyone looks her way) Not like I would know. What are you looking at? Judge Rudy: We'll have the next spin of the wheel after this break! (Commerical) Tonight we report on Jennifer Lopez and Ben Afflecks hot romance! Wait, they did nothing today? What will we report on?? (Tivo skips rest of commercial) Bailiff Wendy: (Talking with Rudy and Lucy) And so the priest says to the rabbi....oooh we're back! Lucy: The rabbi said that? Judge Rudy: Spin the wheel! (The wheel spins quickly, after a minute of not so exciting tension, it stops and lights go flashing and a siren wails) Lucy: What does that mean? >BR? Judge Rudy: Nothing! A glitch in the board. (She slaps it, the siren stops) You are being sent to the one place you are needed: (she snaps fingers and Lucy becomes a stenographer) Right here. Its so hard to find court reporters! Okay last group of contestants. Anouncer: Dr. Kevin Chamberlin-Collins is a doctor at General Hospital and Serena Baldwin is the cutest kid of them all, as long as SORAS (thats soap opera rapid age syndrome to you people) doesn't get to her first! Judge Rudy: You are a doctor? What do you practice? Kevin: All kinds of medicine, all kinds, day and night. I even practice the medicine of love. Judge Rudy: (guffaws) Yeah right. Ok lets give the wheel a spin. (The wheel spins and spins but it stops and falls off the board) Oh-key. Your new job is to be hack plastic surgeon on Nip/Tuck, but you will be in reserve till whenever Julian whats his name decides to ruin the show. Kevin: But I don't know plastic surgery. (gets hauled away) Judge Rudy: Like that stops anyone. Last one is Serena. (She looks at the cute girl) I can't do this. Sweetie do you like Barney? Serena: Yeah! I wish I could be there all the time! Judge Rudy: (raps her gavel) Done! And we're done! Bailiff Wendy: That was easy, we should do another one when Passions gets canned.** Judge Rudy: Hmmmm, we're gonna need a bigger board. The end Sunday, 8 April 2007
Since so many people asked, which is none, I was going to do an April Fools post. What was it? I can't tell you that, I may do it next year. One thing I've learned, its better to not plan when I post as opposed to when I do post. Or something. "Sorpano"s ending: I watched some of this show but I never got into it. Wrestlemania 23: McMahon lost his hair. I know some people would have liked it better if Donald Trump lost his hair. I disgree, and here is why: If Trump lost his hair, the story would have been over at Wrestlemania. With that, they would have had to think up something else to do. With McMahon losing, they can extend the McMahon vs Lashley feud far beyond the hair match and of course eventually beat it to death. Orginal fiction alert: Next week I hope to post a piece of original fiction. It is the next part of an ongoing series called "Judge Rudy". See if you can guess what its a parody of. I no longer have the first one I wrote, but I will post "part two" before I post the third part. Anyway Judge Rudy deals with the soap world. I hope you like it! TV Girl: "Drive" debuts next Sunday! I can hardly wait! I did intend on watching "Raines" but between either forgetting to tape it or forgetting to watch it at all, I've only seen one episode. I wonder if that means anything. I saw a guy that looked like Eddie Izzards brother today. Who is Eddie Izzard? Wikipedia is your friend. I plan to go to Philly for vacay. If anyone has any suggestions on what "Not to miss" when I'm there then don't hesistate to tell me.
Posted by citizennancy at 11:50 PM EDT
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Updated: Monday, 9 April 2007 12:19 AM EDT Saturday, 24 March 2007
The top two reasons why Countdowns 1# story is often mute button material: 1. Too much American Idol. Keith Olbermann claims not to like it but at least two or three number 1# stories were American Idol related. Not everyone cares about the show, you may be actually driving viewers away. Hopefully after this cycle, will be a few AI free months. Thank god they never took up covering The Apprentice when it was on! 2. Anything Anna Nicole related. Nothing else should be in the news about her unless, however , something happens like her coming back from the dead, and she brings Elvis and John Lennon with her. Imagine the massive freakout in the street. Its easy if you try. Gamecube update: Finally beat Nicktoons: Battle for Volcano Island! Will I ever play it again? Sure, to see if I can beat it quicker! I will now make a plea, PLEASE make an Inuyasha gamecube game! PLEASE! I'm done. Seperated at birth: Look at any pictue of Sascha Baron Cohen as Borat and then look at a picture of Frank Zappa. Is it me, or do they look alike. If they ever want to make a Zappa movie, look no further. Speaking of Borat, there is one trend actors need to stop: Appearing on talk shows "in character". Yes I'm looking at Will Ferrell (and some extent John C Reilly, since they appeared in their Talladega Nights persona on Larry King Live) and Cohen (and probably several others I can't think of). You don't see Nathan Fillion going around acting like hes his Firefly character do you? At the end of the day, you are just in a movie, you are yourself and no one else. If someone else did this kind of baloney, they'd be looking at padded walls. Am I taking it too seriously? Maybe, but its darn irritating. Raines: I'm checking out Jeff Goldblums new show "Raines". So far I like it, but then I like anything Goldblum is in. I'll give it my traditional four tries before I render a verdict. See you guys next time! Stay tuned for a special message at the end of the month. I have some news that will make your jaws drop.
Posted by citizennancy at 12:24 AM EDT
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Updated: Monday, 26 March 2007 4:40 PM EDT Monday, 5 March 2007
In the day
Blogger note: I admit I didn't like Nelly Furtado when she came out but this song I can dig.
Posted by citizennancy at 11:54 PM EST
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Updated: Tuesday, 6 March 2007 12:02 AM EST Tuesday, 27 February 2007
So I got one of my Oscar picks wrong. Everybody and their cat predicted Eddie Murphy would win. Congrats to Alan Arkin. Congrats to Martin Scorcese as well. His first win! I disagree with some of the the top winners, however, as you might expect. I didn't like Departed, so it won. I haven't seen "Last King of Scotland" either so I can't say its deserving or not. I'll update you when I do see it. What I think should have won for Best Picture: The Illusionist. Its a period movie about magic and forbidden love and Edward Norton. Love me some Edward Norton.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaB4aN6i4cw - Illusionist trailer Rent the movie today. I promise you won't be disapointed. My choice for Best Actor: Sean Penn in "All the Kings Men". He kept me enthralled during the whole movie. The older Mr Penn gets, the better he is. Also good in this movie is Jude Law.
I didn't see Happy Feet, the winner for best Animated film, but I wasnt too crazy about the other two nominees. Academy, please, more than THREE animated movies come out a year. There are five picture nominees, there should be five animated movies. (and for god sakes, kill off that part of the ceremony where you see the animated characters in the audience.) My choice for best animated movie: Barnyard! A truly funny comedy that teaches about the importance of family, and yes, that when you tip a cow...the cow will get you back! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxBaQDU0gNg Barnyard Trailer I want to see The Queen now, largely because of my fanhood of Helen Mirren. I'm glad she won. I liked the ceremony for the most part, but they could have limited the interpretive dance bits to about two. They got old after a while. Who will host next year? Me! I'm serious. I'll keep things moving along. But if that doesn't work? My nomination is Craig Ferguson.
Posted by citizennancy at 1:12 PM EST
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Updated: Tuesday, 6 March 2007 1:51 AM EST Sunday, 25 February 2007
Tonight is the Oscars, one of my favorite awards shows to watch. Ellen Degeneres is hosting, so I probably wont be doing what did last year...fast forwarding the whole thing. My father taped it for me cause I worked that night. Jon Stewart hosted, and I could not care less about watching him. He isnt a good awards show host. Think I'm wrong? Remember when he hosted the Grammys? Do you remember there being another "official host" after the year he did it? I rest my case. I'm doing Oscar predictions, but admittedly its going to be iffy because. A. Most top nominees I have not seen. B. Uh....no wait, I guess thats the only one. To keep it short and sweet, I will just tell you who I think will win. I can't tell you who I want to win, cause, well see letter A. Plus I'm only going to focus on the big awards. Best Actor- Forrest Whittacker (is that how you spell it?) Its pretty much a lock. Anyone else winning would be a big surprise. Best Actress: Aside from maybe minor awards, the only thing "The Queen" will win is best actress for Helen Mirren. Supporting Actor: Eddie Murphy. But Eddie baby, did you have to have "Norbit" released so close to the ceremony? It aint that bad, but it aint that great either. Alan Arkin is a close second. Supporting Actress: Seems to be Jennifer Hudsons year. Director: Either Martin Scorcese (who has never won) or Clint Eastwood (who has won twice). Best picture: I have seen Babel (okay), and twenty minutes of the Departed (couldnt stand it). I have not seen Letters From Iwo Jima, Little Miss Sunshine (I have excuse, its even on video now) and The Queen. I think it will be Little Miss Sunshine. No reason, its a crap shoot at this point. So there we have it, a short but sweet Oscar pick section. Had I seen more of the movies, I might have made a different choice, but you work with what you have. See you round the net! Monday, 19 February 2007
And now a few words on some events going on right now. Britney "I am the cue ball, not the eight ball" Spears shaving her head: Holy Frijole! Don't care. But by the time the media gets done talking about her shaving it, she will have grown it back. Remember when Demi Moore shaved it for GI Jane? It'll grow back. If not she can make a lot of money for Propecia. Anna Nicole: Its sad. Yes. But we don't need all this coverage. Quietly find out who the daddy to the kid is, bury her, and lets get on with life. American Idol: Still not watching. Is Simon cruel? No crueler than the fickle American music buying public who will like you one second, and toss you aside the next. WWE: Looks like Britney will be twinsies with either Donald Trump or Vince McMahon. I bet you bottom dollar at the end NEITHER of them loses their hair. (Okay quick summary for you who don't watch. Trump and McMahon will each have a wrestler representing them at Wrestlemania 23. The loser has their hair shaved). Studio 60: Gone? I hope not. I love this show. Soooo yeah its probably history. Oh well. I'll buy the season if thats the case. I can catch up on WWE if it comes to worst. Keith Olbermann for four more years: If you are real quiet, you can hear O'Reilly sobbing into his pillow tonight. Drive: Its a show I don't know much about, but I will give it a try. Why? Nathan Fillion, who I've made my poster boy of the week. Yeah, most times I've watched something its because of the hunk factor. But it does look good.
See you next time: I will provide a movie review of some sort.
Posted by citizennancy at 11:27 PM EST
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Updated: Monday, 19 February 2007 11:31 PM EST Monday, 5 February 2007
Like most kids in my generation, I played video games when I was a kid. Mostly I played Commodore 64 games (Wow dating myself there), Atari and Nintendo. I gave my Nintendo games away when I was a teenager. I kinda wish I kept them, I never quite beat them. (In the case of my Friday the 13th game, it kept beating me.) I got a Nintendo Gameboy in the early nineties as a Christmas gift. I beat the Mario game I got with it, but did poorly in the other games I had (a Spiderman game, a Kirby Pinball game I actually did ok in, and a Ren and Stimpy game I never made sense of). Aside from my handheld game and arcade games, I wasn't playing as much as I was when I had more free time on my hands. Then came winter 2005. My father gave me four video games for Christmas unaware I couldnt use in my gameboy (which is just as well, its now as dead as...well something dead). They were Nintendo Gamecube games. What he gave me was a Metroid Game, Enter the Matrix and games for Wrestlemania 18 and 19. I had a couple of choices, ditch the games, have them become dust bunny farms or actually play them. As you can probably guess, I chose to play them. Course I had to get a system first. After a month or so, I got one I put on layaway. I finally got to play the games. So did I like them? Getting me those games has been the best mistake he ever made. I like the wrestling games more than the others. The best part of the wrestling games is that you can create your own characters. Once I figure out how to get a picture of them, I might someday show them to you. I have made "wrestlers" based on tv pundits, newspeople and common taters like Bill O'Reilly. (ironically as much as I don't like him, the character I "christened" after him is the one I have changed the least). I now have several other games, among which I have five or six wrestling games (Day of Reckoning, Legends of Wrestling I and 2 (by the way these two get played the LEAST, horrible controls) and a Nicktoons game, which I came close to beating, at least before the stupid thing froze when I tried to load a saved game. No problem, just started over again. Can I call myelf a gamer? Probably not. I do love to play however. It was a long time before I got back to it, but now I'm glad I have. Thanks dad (Link recommendation: Check out the Angry Video (Nintendo) Nerd on youtube, whos played some of the games I have. And likes them just as much. A Caveat though, he swears, and swears a lot but creatively.)
Friday, 2 February 2007
Today was Groundhog Day! Its on this day where we find out whether we have more winter weather or if we are getting an early spring. Right now where I live its snowing more than it did the last few months combined. The ski people will be happy anyway. Anyway like people in a certain town in Pennsylvania,the blather blog has its own cute furry weather forecaster. This morning we left some cheetos and a Diet Pepsi to appeal to "Mr Bizcuit", the local Blather groundhog, to come and give us the scoop. Oh, wait, I heard him coming to greet us! (He takes his sweet time, doesnt he?) Here he comes!
"Blah blah blah......me right, you wrong...."
That's not him! Wow, thats an ugly critter. Okay, big jerk, what did you do with my groundhog?
Oh there he is. Okay Mr Bizcuit, I don't blame you for being scared of that ugly thing in that hole. So what say you?(pause) Oooh early spring? But hey, its snowing. Hey, hes gone! Hmm what do we write that down as?
See you next time!
Posted by citizennancy at 11:31 PM EST
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Updated: Saturday, 3 February 2007 10:25 PM EST Monday, 29 January 2007
Looking back on my wish list for WWE this year, at least one request of mine has been followed: No McMahon wives or offspring on WWE Tv. Course that may change tonight since its McMahon appreciation night. In case you don't recall, my other wishes were that K-Fed vanish from site and that JR and JBL call the Royal Rumble match. K-Fed was on tv again but thankfully he hasnt been seen since early January. JBL did call the Royal Rumble match but not with JR. So far so good. The Superbowl is next weekend, Colts vs the Bears. I picked the Colts (actually kind of out of necessity, since the person I bet on Superbowl Games with already picked the Bears to win) to win the big game, 23-10. When it comes to football I only watch the Superbowl. Other than the big game, football doesnt interest me at all. However, the snack part of watching a football game DOES interest me. Finding out I was diabetic this past year has reduced the chocolately "yumm yumm" factor in my Superbowl Snack selection. I do have some all time favorites to fall back on. (btw chocolate isnt a complete no no, several candy companies make wonderful low sugar choices if you have to have your peanut butter cup. Like me.) My main snack is nachos, with maybe a low sugar ice cream later on during the last quarter. The recipe I use: 1 package soft cheese (that one that starts with a "v"), cut into cubes for easier melting. 1 jar of salsa, your choice of brand and how hot you want it (I get Tostitos Medium Salsa) 1 bag chips of your choice. (I have Frito Scoops this time) Dump jar of Salsa into bowl with cubes of cheese that you cut up. put it in the microwave. Set the timer for five minutes. Stop it halfway through and stir the cheese making sure its melting and combining with the salsa. When its as done as you want it to be, take it out of the microwave when the bowl is cool enough to handle. Use hand protection if its till slightly hot. Divide the mixture into smaller dipping bowl, serve with your chips. Voila! Enough of this recipe stuff, I dont want to turn into Rachel Ray (satan!) here, but thats one way I enjoy the big game. Don't forget Prince will be perfoming in the half time show. I know at least one net pal of mine will be watching! Time for another cute pic of the week. Yeah, its not Zach Braff again, I'm sooo over him. This weeks obsession Jeremy Piven! I like this picture here:
Next week, it may be someone else. See you later!
Posted by citizennancy at 10:03 PM EST
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Updated: Monday, 5 February 2007 9:46 PM EST |
chillin'
bright
happy
lyrical
cool
chatty
cheeky
a-ok