Beyond Friends Episode Seventy Two "Do you believe in magic?"
Friends Guest
Matt Leblanc as Joey
David Schwimmer as Ross
Special Guest
Paget Brewster as Kathy
"Manater"
"So whats this charity thing?" Joey asked as Rachel sat with him at the employment office. "Does it pay or something?"
"Oh no," Rachel said. "Thats why its called charity. Chartible to them. Free sort of."
"I don't even know if I remember half of the stuff I learned in that class." Joey said. "Unless."
"Unless what?" Rachel asked.
"Maybe you could help me out." Joey said as the line moved forward.
"With what?"
"Be my lovely assistant?" Joey said smiling.
"You're not going to cut me in half are you?" Rachel said.
"I did fine with that trick!" Joey protested. "My practice subject never complained!"
"Your practice subject was a mannequinn! She was sawdust before she hit the ground!" Rachel waved an arm.
"All right. I promise no blood and gore if you promise to be my assistant." Joey held a hand. "Deal?"
"I dunno. Let me see your other hand." Rachel said gesturing to Joeys right hand, which was behind his back.
"What?" Joey said.
"Its pretty obvious you're crossing your fingers!" Rachel said. Joey brought out his hand. His two fingers were crossed.
"Oh that? Thats cause I was hoping to get a job." Joey said slyly. "Ok I'm busted."
"Good. We have a deal." Rachel said.
"When is this shindig?" Joey asked moving forward.
"Today." Rachel handed him a business card. "Its at the Amaurgella Ballroom. 8 pm. Be there."
"With squeaky shoes on." Joey said as Rachel left.
"Whatever works for you." She smiled.
Chandlers lunch hangout
Chandler sighed as he bit into his meatball hero. He dribbled a little on his chin. He grabbed a napkin and was in the midst of wiping off the offending spot on his chin, he spotted something.
He thought he saw someone sitting at the next table. He looked over a little closer. He couldnt believe it.
"Kathy?" He asked himself. "Nah couldnt be. She doesnt know I eat lunch here."
Kathy turned around and faced him. She smiled and waved happily in his direction.
"Its her." He said waving back.
"Hey." Kathy grabbed her tray and came to his table. She cleared his stuff out of the way. "I never knew that you ate lunch here." She saidl touching his hand.
"First time actually." Chandler said a little bit uncomfortably.
"I eat here all the time. It has the best lunch menu in town, but thats my opinion." Kathy said. She changed her tone a bit. "Have you considered my offer?"
"What?" Chandler said.
"About you and me being a couple again. Unless you already have someone. I dont want to step on anyones toes here." She said.
"I get the feeling you didnt actually want a baby and you actually wanted me." Chandler said. "Thats how I feel." He paused. "Well a couple of people feel that way, I just happen to agree." He finished.
"Rachel?" Kathy blew some air out of her mouth. "I've never known what to think of her. Shes a few screws sort of a socket wrench set." She smiled. "You know what I mean."
"Ah sure," Chandler said. He wrapped up what was left of his sandwich and tossed it in the trash. "oh look what time it is. I got to get back to work. It was nice seeing you, Kathy." He said backing up. He almost stumbled over the trash can in his retreat. Kathy just stared after his flight in silence.
Later
Chandler sat in his office and dialed Ross's phone number. He should consider getting it put on his speed dial, if he ever learned how, he thought as the phone rang.
Oddly enough Joey answered.
"Hello Gellers." He said simply.
"Joey? Its me Chandler." Chandler said. "Is Rachel there?"
"Sure." Joey handed the phone to Rachel who was lying on the kitchen table. "Phone call."
"Thanks." She picked up the reciever. "Hi."
"Kathys following me." Chandler said.
"How do you know?" Rachel said.
"She was at the place I have lunch everyday." He said. "Then she followed me to my office then stayed in her car till I was in my office." He said. "I'm afraid to go home. Its gonna look like a bad chase scene from an even worse action movie."
"You got to come home!" She said. "You promised to come to the magic show."
"It would be real magic if Joey made Kathy disapear again." Chandler said tapping his pen.
"I dont think Joeys mastered that one yet." Rachel said. "Look if all she wants to know is if you will date her again." Rachel sat up. "All you have to do is tell her no. Then she will go away."
"Sure, all stalkers work that way." Joey said.
Rachel ignored Joey. "It wouldnt hurt to try."
"All right." Chandler said. "I'll see you at eight. I hope Kathy doesnt show up and tries to act like a date." Chandler hung up the phone. He picked up is binoculars at the big window he had. As he looked through them he jumped back. On the tall parking garage across the street there was Kathy, with her own set of binoculars. She waved at him. He dropped his binoculars. They shattered on the ground. He pulled a cord and closed the window shades, afraid to see what she might do.
He sighed.
"Damn it girl." Chandler said.
The Charity Magic Show
Rachel arrived without Ross at the location Alison had given her the previous week. She was greeted by Joey who made a weird noise when he saw her.
"Ahh!" He said. "You're not wearing that are you?"
"Why not?" Rachel said.
"The magicians assistant HAS to look sexy." Joey said throwing her an outfit.
"As long as its not a playboy bunny costume." She opened the box he had thrown. "Oh." She pulled it out. It was a playboy bunny costume. "I get a feeling I was meant to be a rabbit in this life."
Chandler strolled up behind them. "Hey."
"Hey." Rachel smiled and turned still holding her outfit. Chandler took a sharp in take of breath when he saw her. He felt his eyes drinking her in. She was wearing a full length gown with some earrings. The neckline dipped softly. He closed his eyes quickly, he didnt want to feel like he was staring at his best friends wife. He walked up to her.
"Is he going to have you wear that bunny thing? I think his last ex girlfriend left that in his closet." Chandler smiled and kissed Rachel on the cheek. She felt a slight blush as he pulled from her face.
"I thought it would look good on her." Joey said. "Its for the sexiness!"
"This is a charity show for KIDS, not for Hugh Hefner." Chandler said. "She looks good the way she is."
"Thanks." Rachel said.
"Your welcome." Chandler said. "I'll go find my seat."
"Thanks for coming." Rachel said to him. "I couldnt tear Ross away from his Biography Special."
Chandler waved as he went to his seat. Rachel went out to the matchbook cover sized stage. She went up to the microphone. She cleared her throat.
"Ladies and gentleman, the Amazing Tribbiani." Rachel said as the curtain opened.
Chandler sat back. Something touched his shoulder.
He turned.
"Hello handsome." Kathy said.
"What?" He said. "Will you leave me alone?"
"Oh come on. One date." Kathy said.
"Ok, ok. I'll go out with you, if thats what it takes for you to leave me alone."
"Great." Kathy said leaving. "See ya round."
Chandler rolled his eyes. He faced forward again. Joey had gone back on his promise of not cutting Rachel in half. She was already in his little cabinet thing.
"Joey you promised!" Rachel said in a whisper.
"I know. But Alison told me to do this." He said quietly.
"Then get her in here. I don't want to be a sliced salami." Rachel said.
Joey calmly put all the knifes into the cabinet. He spun her once, twice, three times then moved the cabinet apart. He hastily reassembled her then let her out. Rachel did a little bow thing then dashed off the stage. She hugged Chandler hard.
"Oh my god! That was so scary." Rachel said clinging to him. "I'm so glad you're here." She said.
Out of sight a figure watched from behind the doors. Ross looked at Rachel holding on to Chandler. He watched as he comforted her. Then he opened the door and walked over.
"Hey guys, sorry I'm late." He said. Rachel held Ross's hands. "Did I miss anything?"
"I don't think so." Chandler said as he looked Rachels way. She caught her breath. "Not a damn thing."
