Beyond Friends Episode Forty Seven "This Diamond Ring"
Special Guests
Matt LeBlanc as Joey Tribbiani
RuPaul as Greta Chanel
Bruce Willis as Wesley
Cameron Diaz as Naomi
"Ring Of Fire"
Rachel stood around a small drafty dressing room. She was waiting to film her first scene as "Unknown Coma Patient". She was very nervous; this would be her first television appearance. Granted she would be asleep while filming the scene, but everyone would still be staring at her.
At the moment she was dressed in a hospital nightgown. Since she was going to be in a coma, it didn't matter what she was wearing.
"How much longer do I have to wait?" She thought to herself. "I'm freezing my buns out here."
She was about to check the time again when she heard a voice coming down the hall.
"Look, honey, I am not gonna have my eyebrows plucked by some girl who just canned at Burger King for burning the fries. Ok?" Came the brash and obviously female voice.
"I'm sorry madame." A younger voice said.
"Well, sorry doesnt get you sugar cakes from maple syrup!" Came the reply. "Just get me someone in charge? All right? I need a cup of coffee."
"Wow." Rachel thought. Maybe the soap biz does harden someone. The woman she heard came down the hallway. Rachel tiptoed into the hall. She almost ran into a tall dark skinned woman.
"Pardon me." Rachel said.
"I am so sure." The woman asid. It was the one she heard talking just now. "I'm sorry. I'm being so rude today. I am having a bad day." She said. "I'm Greta. Greta Chanel. Aspiring model and actress."
"Rachel Green." Rachel said extending her hand. "Aspiring coma patient."
"Oh, youre funny." Great laughed. "I need a drink. Lets walk and talk."
Rachel nodded. She had to double her pace to keep up with the much taller Greta.
"I really do have to apologize for my behavior back there." Greta said getting Rachel a cup of coffee. "I am having a bad day. I play Joey Tribbianis ex fiancee. He just dumped her for my best friend, Sheila."
"I know Joey." Rachel said. "He's my best friend."
"No offense, honey, hes as dumb as a brick. But his bod makes up for the loss in brainpower. It is so umm-umm good. You have no idea."
"I think I do." Rachel said.
A stage manager stepped into the room.
"Ms Green, we are ready for you." He said then left the room.
"I know this is your first day. Good luck, honey. I will be on the set in a second. I film this scene with you and Joey." Greta said as Rachel left. "You're gonna need it girl."
Chandlers Office
Chandler tapped a couple of his keys onto his desk and looked up at the door. He kept hoping someone would not walk in and notice what he was really doing. For the last couple of days at work he had really been looking over the case filse of the infamous Night Gallery incident. Everytime someone, a secretary or a coworker, he would stash his file behind the desk. Then he would immediately start working on the WENUS again.
But today that would be different. today he felt like he had a genuine break in the case. Somehow he had managed to hack into the files of the Gallery. If Ross found out he had stolen his password he would kill him. But it was worth the risk. He would do anything in orer to give Naomi Bakers haunted spirit some peace.
He printed out part of a spread sheet and promptly exited from the Gallerys server
"I think I have something very big here." He told himself as he stuff the sheet into a briefcase. Chandler had to get to the police station with his new findings. On the way out he bumped into Wesley.
"Where you going bro? I thought we were having lunch today?" Wesley asked as Chandler nearly knocks him to the ground.
"I cant!" He said as he went to the elevator. "I got something to do. Errands, you know. Can you take a rain check?" Chandler said as the door opened.
"How about a regular check?" He said as he waved. "I can use the money."
Chandler waved as the door closed.
The Studio
The director picked up his enourmous bullhorn and barked some orders. Greta and Rachel looked on.
"Why does that have to be so big and loud?" Rachel asked as she watched him bully some extras.
"Honey child, the man has some issues with size." Greta explained. "And his mother I think. If you were a regular viewer of the show you'd see that there are a lot of bitchy mother characters. The man has a lot of problems."
"Okay Greta!" The director said coming over to the duo. "In this scene..." he continued not putting the bullhorn down. "...I would like you to go stand outside the door. I will give you your cue, then you will come in and start pleading with Joey to take you back. Ok?" The director said talking with his hands. "And Ms Green, we would like it if you would get in the bed now."
"Sure." Rachel said walking over to the bed with Greta. "How hard can that be?"
"Harder than you think." Greta said. "You have to stay still for the entire time you are there. Some advice: breathe through your nose." She took Rachels hand. "Let me help you up here. I don't know why they have this so high up. It's like a scene from frankenstein."
"Ok." Rachel said assuring Greta that she was on the bed.
"Great." Greta asid as Rachel laid down. "I'll be behind that door." Greta tucked her in a little bit. "Break a leg."
"I'm already in a coma, I don't think anything worse could happen to me." Rachel observed.
"See, you are funny. I don't know why they don't give you some lines." Greta shook her head. "See you in a few."
Rachel closed her eyes. It's gonna be a long day.
NYPD
Chandler bounded the steps two at a time. He headed for the Homicide department, remembering his experience from the week before. He was lucky. Iron Maiden DeCelle was still at the front desk. He put the folder on the counter and slammed his briefcase on it to get her attention.
"Wah!" She said surprised. "Oh its you." She said. "What do you want." She got up reluctantly.
"I have your file." He said pointing it out.
"Well good." She said taking it.
"And I also have this." He said pulling the spreadsheet out of the paper. "This is a spreadsheet of the amount of money that the museum took for the year of the Night Gallery slayings."
"Whats your point." She said dryly.
"Look here." He said showing her with his finger. "On line 10 it says that a capita of 2 million was donated to the museum by very gracious people. Art lovers."
"I wish they would donate that much to me." DeCelle said.
"Don't we all." Chandler agreed. "But at the end of the year, only 1 million was reported used, another 500 grand was reported missing and another 500 is unaccounted for. Your wenus will tell you that. So there is only one question."
"Where did the money go?" DeCelle said catching on.
"Exactly." He said.
"So. Using this new info, you naturally assumed that one of the museum trustees was robbing the coffers and using the money for himself."
"Yes." Chandler nodded. "Someone hinted to the bigger bosses that the money was going to the wrong places."
"The trustee panicked, he went to the night gallery." DeCelle continued. "He went back to get the rest of the loot. But one problem."
"The night gallery insituted new hours that night. He had no idea people would still be there." Chandler said."He found the people, went into a some sort of psychotic rage and killed them. He realized that he had done and left. Without the money." Chandler concluded.
"Then, if all of this is true, the money should still be in a vault." DeCelle said. She got up and got her car keys. "Let's go. I think I know where that money night be."
Chandler followed the burly woman to her car. "Chandler Bing. I think you may have just solved the case."
Chandler sighed as she pulled away from the curb.
Joey opened the curtain. He looked around then he poked her.
"Rachel?" He said.
"Are we done yet?" She asked wearily.
"We are done with your scene today." He smiled at her as she rose in her bed. "You were fabulous."
"It was hard to stay still." Rachel said. "You were much better at this than I was. No wonder you won an emmy."
"Ah, shucks." Joey smiled goofily. "Thanks."
"I did have a little trouble with being on camera." She confessed.
"Yea, the camera people had a big laugh when the coma patient ran out of the bed and threw up in the bathroom." Joey patted her shoulder."It happens to the best of us. At my first day here, I showed up to the set with no pants on."
"That is embarressing." Rachel agreed as she rose from the hospital gown. She grabbed the back of it to hold it shut.
"I also had no underwear." He said while walking her back to the dressing room.
"Thats typical Joey." She answered.
"What?" He asked.
"Nevermind." She said. Rachel went in to change.
It was Ross's day off Chandler realized as they entered the gallerys front doors. DeCelle flashed her badge and asked to see some one in charge.
"I am here to see Mark Sterling." She said to the gallery owner as he appeared from his office.
"He's one of the trustees." He said. "We have not seen him in a while."
"We have reason to suspect he is involved in a embezelling scheme." DeCelle said holding Chandlers printout in one hand. "Sterling came here to take the rest of the money when he found out that someone was on to him. But he had a problem, there were a gallery full of witnesses. And he couldnt have that."
"What?" The owner said. "He could never do that. He was a very nice man."
"Greed can turn the nicest of people into crooks." DeCeller explained. "You have no idea where he is."
"None whatsoever." The owner shook his head.
"Thank you." DeCelle said. They turned to leave.
"So now what happens?" Chandler asked as they left the gallery.
"We send out an APB for this Sterling fellow. We have some questions for him. Nothing more you can do on this case. It's in our hands now." Decelle said. "But until we know otherwise, it looks like you wrapped this case up." She got into ther car. "I'll give you a ride home, since you didnt drive here."
"Okay." Chandler got into the car. He looked at the window. "Naomi, I did it." He thought to himself.
DeCelle dropped him off at his home. Rachel had not returned home yet. He started to make himself lunch as he entered the apartment, after all he had cancelled lunch to go the police station. He didnt notice the strange presence in the room. He looked up.
"Naomi." He spoke softly.
"It's me. I hope you didnt mind, I used the key to get in." She said.
"What key?" Chandler askd, then realized he had asked a stupid question.
"I know what you did." Naomi said coming to him.
"I solved the case." He said.
"I know." She said. "Thats why I am here." There was a sad tone in her voice. "I am here to say goodbye."
"No." He shook his head. "You can't go. Please stay."
"You knew what was gonna happen when you solved the case." She said looking up at him.
"That doesnt make it any easier to let you go, you know." He said reaching out for her, but finding he hands slipping through her. "Don't go. I love you."
"I'm not going far." She said. "I will always be here..." She pointed at his heart. "...just like you will be here for me."
"Naomi." He said sadly.
"I have to go, Chandler, thats the rules." She said turning to leave.
"Rules are made to be broken." He said as she went for the door.
"I know that, but I answer to someone who would be very mad if I don't." Naomi said. "I'll see you again."
"When?" Chandler said.
"I don't know. Someday, tomorrow. You never know. Strange things happen in a strange life. After all, it brought me to you, and I'm so glad I had a chance to meet you."
"Then don't go." Chandler pleaded one last time.
"I'll be your guardian angel." She promised. "I'll see you around Chandler. I guarentee it." She said as she vanished. "Would I lie to you?"
Chandler watched as she disappeared. The door opened.
"Naomi?" He asked.
"You forget who I am already?" Rachel said as she came in. "Thats not nice." She looked at him. He looked down at his feet. "Whats the matter. You look like youve seen a ghost."
"I did. And now shes gone." He answered.
"Oh no. I'm so sorry." She said.
"I know." He said. "Thanks."
"I gotta take a shower." She said turning into the bathroom. "Will you be allright?"
"I'll be fine. I've been alone before, it'll be all right."
"Ok." Rachel said and closed the door.
Chandler sighed and sat on the window sill. He looked up and then closed his eyes.
"Goodbye." He whispered before getting off the sill. He walked over to his room and found a little bag on the floor. He picked it up. He pulled a small black box out of the bag. He opened the box.
"Oh my." He said upon seeing what was in it.
