"The One With The Wedding"
Yemen National Airport

Chandler balanced the phone number he had written down on his day planner with the suitcase he was carrying. After spending all of ten minutes in Yemen he was ready to go home. Janice or no Janice he was going back to the US. Chandler finally found a phone. After finding out how much a call would cost under the Yemen exchange rate he finally called Rachel collect.

New York

Rachel heard the phone ringing from the shower. She grabbed a towel and ran out to the phone. She picked it up before the answering machine picked up.
"Hello? Green residence." Rachel said trying not to drip on anything.
"Hello, you have a collect phone call from Yemen." The operator spooke with an accent. "Yemen?" Rachel thought to herself. Chandler! "I'll accept the charges." Rachel said quickly. She grabbed the phone and sat down. "Chandler?"
"Hey Rach! I'm coming home." Chandler said. "The flight leaves in a couple of minutes so I will be there around maybe ten or something tonight? I'm not really sure so maybe I'll call you for a ride home from the airport?"
"Okay." Rachel said getting up. "But what if I cant?"
"I'll get someone to come and pick my worthless butt up, don't worry about me." Chandler said as an announcer came on calling the final boarding call." I gotta go Rach!" Chandler said as he hung up the phone. "See you at home!"
"Okay." Rachel said as she hung up. She then went inside the bathroom the shut the shower off and get dressed. Monica and Joey came in the front door as she emerged from the bathroom. "Hey guys guess who called!"
"Who?" Joey said.
"Chandler!" Rachel said happily. "He may be home tonight!"
"Oh my god!" Rachel heard. "My bing-a-lings coming hime!" Janice walked in the door with a shopping bag. "I gotta go wait for my honey at the airport" Janice said then letting loose that awful fingernails-across-the chalkboard laugh. "This is so great!" Janice said then she turned around and ran down the stairs.
"Oh my god." Rachel covered her mouth. "If Chandler sees Janice at the airport he's gonna kill me!"
"Not before I do." Joey said and started to come at Rachel. He stopped. "I'm just kidding. What are we gonna do?"
"What is there to do?" Monica asked.
"I dont know." Rachel said. "We can try to beat Janice to the airport and wait for him there and warn him and stuff." Rachel grabbed her keys.
"Let's go!" Joey said as Rachel ushered them out the door.She turned and looked at the apartment as she locked the door.
"I'm so sorry Chandler!" Rachel said then followed Joey down the stairs.

LaGuardia Aiport

Chandler stood up and stretched as he was getting out of his seat. He scratched his head and yawned while he got his carry on luggage out of the compartment over his head. He slung his carryon over his shoulder and went down the stair to the waiting area of the airport. He went over to the luggage rack where his other suitcases was. As he was retrieving his suitcase he heard his name being called.
"Chandler!" He heard. recognizing the voice as not as Rachels but as a very excited Janice. He turned and looked in her direction, his eyes popping out of his head.
"Janice?"
"My bing-a-ling is home!" Janice said hugging him. "I guess they didn't need you in Yemen after all!"
"I guess not." Chandler said looking over her shoulder. He saw Rachel, Joey and Monica following close behind.
"Hi Chandler." Rachel said as Monica gave him a big hug. Joey shook his hand.
"Hey, how are you guys?" Chandler asked giving Rachel a hug."I thought I told you not to tell Janice!" He whispered in her ear.
"She was there when you called. I couldnt stop her." Rachel responded.
"Janice. I need to talk to you." Chandler said taking Janices hand. She followed Chandler over to an empty waiting room.
"What is it my bing-a-ling?" Janice asked with a big wide smile on her face.
"I need to talk to you, about us."
"Oh really?" Janice said sitting down.
"Yeah. I think our relationship has reached a different level than it was at before." Chandler said trying to sound as non-commital as possible. It didn't work.
"I agree. I think I know what you are gonna ask me!" Janice said happily.
"What?" Chandler said confused. He was gonna break up with her and yet something was exciting her.
"Youre gonna ask me to marry you!" Janice said hugging him. "Well you don't have to, cause I'll say Yes right now!"
"You want to marry me?" Chandler said a little shell shocked.
"Oh yes yes yes yes YES!" Janice said. She looked over his shoulder at Monica, Rachel and Joey coming in the room. "Guess what?" Janice said hopping up. "My bing-a-ling just asked me to marry him!"
"Oh my god!" The trio said, wide-eyed.
"You said it!" Chandler said as Janice kissed him on the cheek. "Boy have you really said it."

Home base

Chandler and Janice had just arrived at the apartment. Ross and Emily were there.
"Hi guys." Chandler said. "Look whos with me!" He said said as Janice followed him in.
"Oh my god!" Emily said covering her mouth. "Janice?"
"Emily?" Janice said excitiedly. They hugged in the middle of the room.
"I knew it." Joey muttered. "Janice is a lesbian."
"I havent seen you for ages." Emily said pulling away.
"Guys." Janice said. "Emily is my cousin from england. I had no idea you came over to the us. Why didn't you call me?"
"Well your husband, mattress king person and I never could stand the sight of each other in the same room so we tried to stay as far away as possible." Emily said glancing at Chandler as Janice went by his side. "But I see that he is no longer with you."
"We finally got divorced. Which brings us to our announcement." Janice said grabbing Chandlers arm. "Do you want to tell them bing-a-ling?"
"Nooo, you tell them." Chandler said.
"We're gonna get married!" Janice said not hesitating one bit.
"Thats great!" Ross said.
"Wow!" Monica said.
"We know." Chandler said. "Very unexpected. SO unexpected."
"This is wonderful!" Emily said hugging Janice again. "But where do you plan to have the wedding?"
"We havent really thought about it." Chandler said.
"Well I have an excellant idea." Emily said.
"What?" Practically everyone said.
"Well I have a summer place in england and I think it would be the perfect place to have the wedding. Plus I'm going back to england next week so its perfect!"
"Really?" Rachel asked while looking at Ross. "What a crying shame." Ross looked back at her. For no reason at all Rachel blushed as Ross gazed at her. What was all that about?
"Yeah. Well Ross and I didn't work out. I can't abide snorers." Emily confessed.
"He doesnt snore." Rachel said. Everyone looked at her. "Well I should know right?"
"Anyhow, I'll call my mum and pa in London and see if we can get the cottage set up for this wonderful event!" Emily said bursting with English pride. "Come Janice! I have the perfect wedding dress. I saw it down the street, we should go look at it before the store closes." Emily and Janice went out the door. Chandler waited for a couple of seconds to pass before he spoke.
"What am I gonna do? I can't marry Janice!"
"You don't want to marry Janice?" Joey asked as Chandler sat down. "Then why did you ask her?"
"Theres this thing. I was gonna break up with her, set her free, cut her off!" Chandler said.
"Okay we can stop with the metaphors." Monica said interuppting him.
"Anyway she got the impression that I was gonna proopse to her and there was nothing I could do about it."
"Well, didn't it hit her strange that if you were gonna propose you would have given her a ring?" Rachel asked.
Chandler thought this over.
"I don't know. Maybe she thought I was proposing to her in a new way, say yes now get the ring later?" Chandler said as he got up. "I don't know what to do."
"Well thats easy." Ross said. "Tell Janice you don't want to marry her."
"Ross is right." Rachel said. Ross looked at her. "You have to tell her before you cross the international date line with her."
"You're right. I know youre right." Chandler said going to the door. "I'm gonna go tell her the news."
Chandler put his hand on the door as Janice came in with the dress. She hid it behind her back.
"Bing-a-ling. You know you're not supposed to see the dress before the wedding day." Janice laughed. As she laughed Joey cringed and squirmed.
Janice set the bag on the table. Chandler took her shoulder. "Janice I have to tell you something."
"What?"
"At the airport. I wasn't gonna ask you to marry me. I was gonna break it off with you for good." Chandler said as gently as he could. Soon thought he failed miserably and thought Janice was gonna break down and cry at any moment.
But instead something else happened. Janice let out a huge sigh of relief.
"Thank god, I knew you werent gonna ask me to get married." Janice said happily.
"Why is that?" Chandler said suddenly relieved himself.
"Well I could tell when we met again you dont have the same feelings about me anymore. We're totally differnt now Bing a ling so being together would be very very wrong."
"I'm glad you feel that way Janice." Chandler said.
"Me too." Janice said. "Oh and thats my dry cleaning. There were no dress shops open." Janice picked up her bag and headed for the door. "Good-bye Chandler. You'll always be my first true love."
Chandler waved to her as she closed the door. He turned to the group. "See, I CAN break up with Janice and not look like a heel." The guys looked at him. "Thats a joke guys."
"Ah."