The Usual Suspects
Lisa Kudrow,Matt Leblanc
Courteney Cox, David Schwimmer
RuPaul as Greta Chanel
Bruce Willis as Wesley
Demi Moore as Alison
Again
Rachel dropped her bags in the hallway and made a bee line for the phone. She punched a few numbers while Ross dumped his bags next to her bags. He sat next to Rachel as she put the phone at her ear.
"Do you think we will be able to get everyone there quickly?" He asked. "They pretty much scattered once the plane landed."
"I hope so. I'm calling Greta right now. She said she was gonna go home for a bit. Joey overload I suppose." She said as the machine picked.
"Hello dearest! You have contacted the fabulous Greta Chanel, if you are a agent or one of my friends please leave a message! If you are a IRS agent, I dont owe anything!" BEEP!
"Shes not there." Rachel said "Greta!" She said into the phone.
"Rachel?" Greta said in a huff. "I'm sorry I was in the shower, I could barely hear the phone!"
"Greta, how would you like an offer you can't refuse?" She asked.
"What?" Greta asked.
"How would you like to get married?" Rachel asked. "You were planning to anyway."
"I want to marry Joey, we are so in love. And we wear the same size." Greta said. "We just don't know when."
"How about today?" Rachel asked, trying not to think about what Greta meant by same size.
"What?"
"Today as in right now, or precisely 3:00." Rachel said.
"I don't know, how are you doing this?" Greta asked.
"Ross and I were gonna get married again. Stop before you congradulate us. We called it off." Rachel explained. "Ross decided since he had everything planned, why waste it?" She said.
"Rings and everything?" Greta said warming to the idea.
"Yes." Ross said breaking into the phone. "We can get them resized."
"All we have to do is call Joey." Rachel said taking the phone back.
"Oh you don't have to worry about Joey." Greta said. "He's right here."
"Joey?" Rachel asked.
"Yeah?" He said getting on the phone. "You and Ross were gonna get married again, and now you are giving it to us? You guys are great!"
"So you'll do it?" Rachel asked giving Ross a thumbs up sign.
"Sure, just tell us when and where." Joey said.
"St Marys church. The weddings at Three but lets be there at two, to set up." Rachel said. "See ya!"
"That went great." Ross said. "But I feel like we could do more."
"Like what?" Rachel said.
"I feel like cupid today, minus the arrows and the diaper." Ross said. "I have another idea. Let's get in the car."
"Should we let Chandler know?" Rachel said. "He promised to be Joeys best man."
"Sure." Ross said. "I'll go talk to my idea..."
"Whats your idea?" Rachel said.
"Ok, then you come with me, then we will stop and you can go up and let Chandler know. We can carpool." He suggested.
"Okay."
Minutes later
Rachel and Ross knocked on Wesley and Allisons door.
"So your idea involves these two? Why?" Rachel asked.
"You'll see." Ross said as the door opened. Wesley was in his underwear.
"This better be good. This is dirty underwear I'm wearing." He said. Rachel gave him a look. "Washer broke down." He explained.
"Wesley how would you like to be officially married?" Ross asked.
"I thought we were, in Vegas. At least thats what the bad Wayne Newton impersonator said." Wesley said inviting them in. There was an unexplainable stench in the room. "Those two kids of Phoebes were horrible. They spit up on all of my good business suits. She ought to check them, they might have 666 on the back of their heads, like the Omen." He said waving around. "Whats up?"
"Ross and I were gonna get married again." Rachel said.
"Well good for you kids, I hope it works out." Wesley said rubbing his day old growth of beard.
"We decided to call it off." Ross said.
"Well damn good! Best thing I heard all day. Blah blah. What does this have to do with me?"
"Would you like to be married in a church?" Ross asked.
"Sure. At least it will get the mob off our backs. Inlaws are a bitch!" He said half joking.
"We have a priest and a church ready to go, all you have to do is get there and get remarried." Ross said as Alison walked into the room fully dressed.
"Would you like to get remarried?"
"Honey?" Wesley said walking up to her, he took her hand. "What do you think?"
"I think, yeah, we ought to do it." Alison said.
"Great!" Ross said. "St Marys at two, the wedding is at three." He said writing it down. "I gotta warn you its a double wedding. Joey and Greta will be there too."
"The more the married-er." Wesley said. "Okay bad joke."
"I understood you honey." Alison said.
"We have a problem. Greta and Alison need a dress." Rachel said.
"I have one." Alison said. "I do, I do. Its in here. Its for a play, the director made me buy my own wedding gown. I just never thought I would use it, especially after the play was cancelled."
"What a lucky coincidence, eh?" Wesley said. "Now get out of here, we got to change and everything, find a cheap tux." Wesley said as he got a phone book. "We'll be there."
Rachel dialed Gretas number on the cell phone as Ross drove over to Chandlers. Greta and Joey had gone to their place to look for a sutiable tuxedo for him.
"Tell you what, Rachel." Ross said as Rachel talked to Greta about her dress. "I'll drop you off, go collect Monica, Phoebe and the girls and try to get them to a dress shop before lunchtime."
"Okay." Rachel said as she hung up. Greta had a dress, she promised, and she would be there with bells on. But no, not on the dress. "I'll see you in a few minutes." Rachel said as she hopped out.
Rachel raced upstairs and knocked on Chandlers door. She hoped it wasnt too early in the morning. Had he gone to bed yet? She was about to leave when the door opened.
"Rachel?" Chandler asked.
"Hey. I have news." Rachel said.
"What?" Chandler asked.
"Ross and I were about to get married again." Rachel said. His face took a definate turn down south. "We're not going to." She said. He suddenly looked relieved. "But Ross decided to give the wedding away."
"To who?" Chandler said.
"Greta and Joey, and Wesley and Alison are gonna renew their vows." Rachel explained. "We need a best man."
"Not for Greta I hope."
"Oh no." Rachel said laughing. "For both I guess. Ross and I will be like brides person or something. Will you do it?" She asked. Her eyes searched for an answer.
"Sure." He said. "I need to find a tux."
"I'll help you." Rachel said following him into the apartment.
Chandler stopped halfway into his room. "You gotta tell me one thing."
"What?" She asked as she almost ran into him.
"Why?" He asked.
"Why what? Why aren't I getting married again?" She asked as she rifled through his closest. "Ok I got us a tux, its pretty good. You do keep your clothes in good shape I gotta tell you that much."
"You're avoiding the question." Chandler said.
"I am." Rachel said. "I don't know why I'm not. It doesnt feel right anymore I suppose. Everything we went through? If it happened differently we could be married right now. But we arent. We gotta get on with our lives, whoever that might be with." Rachel said.
Chandler nodded. There was a loud knocking. "That ought to be Ross. We are going in the same car right?"
"Ross is gonna give Mon and Phoebe and the girls a ride to the church too." Rachel said.
"Let's go, we can't keep them waiting." Chandler said as they met Ross at the door.
"Phoebes gonna take the limo over to the the church with Monica and the girls." Ross said. "So its us three, again."
"Great." Chandler said as they went down the stairs.
The church
Phoebe and her two girls were waiting int he back room. They had two cute little sundresses on.
"Look!" She said happily. "Flower girls!"
"Thats great, we never thought of that." Rachel said as she put on her own dress.
"Course not, thats what I'm here for silly!" She said zipping up Rachels back.
"How are we doing?" Monica said. "Last minute weddings are a organzational nightmare!" She said as she came in.
"We're doing good, weddings in t-30 minutes." Rachel said.
"Great!" Monica said. "Look at me, I'm wringing my hands to death."
"I know." Phoebe said. "You always do that!"
The wedding music started.
Rachel and Ross walked down the isle arm and arm. Greta and Wesley waited up at the front of the church with the priest. They stood to one side as Chandler came down after them. Then he stood at Joeys side. Phoebes girls walked in front of Phobe throwing out flowers. The small crowd that was there, Wesley and Alisons family on one side, Gretas on another.
As Phoebes girls finished the wedding march started. The people on the pews rose to see Greta and Alison started to come down the isle. Alison was wearing a flowing white gown. The one she had mentioned in the apartment. Then Greta came down in a dress only she could wear. It was gold, thigh-length and cutdown low in front and in back. It definately showed off her figure, even the priest noticed.
The two took their place next to the guys.
"We are gathered here today to witness the nuptials of Joey Tribbiani and Greta Chanel, and to witness Alison and Wesley David renew their vows." The priest turned to Greta. "Greta Chanel, will you take this man Joey Tribbiani, for better for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"
"I do." Greta said.
"And Joey Tribbiani, will you take this woman Greta Chanel , for better for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"
"I do." Joey said.
Joey put Gretas ring onto her hand, and Greta put Joeys ring on his hand. The priest said a few prayers and he turned to Wesley and Alison.
Chandler patted Joey on the back. He turned to see Rachel staring at him.
"Wesley David, do you take this woman Alison David, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"
"I don't know, are we rushing into this?" He joked, Alison smiled at him. "I do, again." He said looking into her eyes.
"Alison David, do you take this man Wesley David, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"
"Sure, I do, the rides been great so far."
"By the power invested in me by the state and city of New York, I now pronounce you husbands and wives. You may now kiss the brides."
Joey and David kissed their brides to the cheers of the church.
At the small reception, they changed their clothes and went to Joeys favorite steak place. Rachel was sitting alone by the window with her food. She had chosen from a buffet rather than try to cook her own steak. Chandler sat down at her table.
"How are you doing?" He asked her.
"Pretty good. Great wedding." Rachel said.
"Betcha you wish it was your own." Chandler said. She looked at him.
"I'm fine about it. I really am." Rachel said. "I feel a lot better than I thought I would be."
"Really?" Chandler said.
"Really." Rachel said.
Chandler got a page on his beeper, it seemed urgent.
"Arent you gonna take that call?" Rachel asked.
"It can't be earth shattering. I'll do it later."
"Okay." Rachel said.
