Beyond Friends Episode Eighty Nine "Take this job and shove it"
Special Guests
RuPaul as Greta
Salma Hayek as Janet
Jennifer Lopez as Ms Boss Woman
"Time To Quit"
"I love manicures. It's like me time for your fingers." Greta said blowing on her fingers. The girls, Janet Greta and Rachel decided to have a little fun during their lunch break. They went to have manicures.
"I know." Janet said. "Its such a pity they will be partially ruined by the end of the day. Dialing, paper cuts."
"Oh the humanity." Greta said looking at Rachel who did her best at hiding her laughter. "Well we can afford to get them fixed up. After all, we dont work for another two days."
"Thats what you think." Pearl said as they walked by her station.
"What?" Rachel asked.
"You heard me." Pearl said turning the page on her book.
"Passion tomato?" Greta read the title aloud and grabbed the book and looked at it. "Honey this is no recipe book." She threw it back to Pearl, who nearly dropped it."What we need is details, darling. What do you mean?"
Pearl sighed, giving Greta a look that would wilt mushrooms. After discovering Greta had no fear of her Pearl sighed. "Ok, remember how weeks ago our hours are cut?"
The trio nodded.
"Thats when I went skydiving with my friend Alison." Rachel said.
"Well, they are going back up. And big time." Pearl said. "We are gonna work double time to make up for it. Starting tomorrow."
"Oh my god." Greta said. "I can't do that!"
"Me neither." Janet said.
"I'm not gonna do it." Rachel said. "There is no way she is gonna make me either." She sat down.
"What are you gonna do?" Greta asked.
"You'll find out tomorrow." Rachel said. "I'm gonna make a move and if you follow me, you can come too."
"Okay." Janet looked at Greta.
"Good luck honey on whatever insane idea you are sprouting in your mind." Greta said as she went to her station.
Later
Rachel made a detour from her usual route home. She passed by her turn and heade for Chandlers place. She parked in the tenant parking area and headed upstairs, hoping he was home.
She knocked on his door. He popped off the couch and answered it.
"Hi." He said when he saw her.
"Hi." She said. "I'm at my wits end."
"Whys that?" He asked as she came in.
"First the pregnancy scare, and now at work they are gonna make us work twice as many hours." She said. "Its gonna be a sweatshop only with people on the phone."
"Your job doesnt seem to be that tough." Chandler said.
"You never sat for hours on end on the phone, dialing numbers over and over again. I know it doesnt seem like such a big deal but you havent done it. You havent been there." She cried.
"Little melodramatic there." Chandler said.
"I know I'm sorry!" Rachel said. "I wanted a hobby! I got the job from hell. There was a rat in my lunch last week, and it ate my lunch!" She said.
"So why don't you quit." Chandler asked. "If its as bad as you say it is, then why dont you just leave?"
"I'm going to. I have a great idea. I just need a tape player and a tape." She said. "I was hoping I could use yours. Thats why I came here."
"I knew that, why else would you come here?" Chandler said matter of factly.
Rachel turned and looked into her old room. "So hows it been without Stacy around?"
"Ok, I'm adapting. Its not the first time a woman moved out on me. But never with more mystery. She said to me something in effect that said what she said about being Eddie was in doubt. Not to believe her or something."
"You mean this was possibly a well schemed plan to leave all along?" Rachel asked. "Weirdo city."
"Tell me about it." Chandler said. "You and me were normal in comparison."
"When I thought I was pregnant last week, I wondered for a moment if it was his or yours." Rachel admitted. "But its been a year since we've been together."
"Unless I got really resilient sperm." Chandler said quietly. "To listen to you right now, you seem a little sad that it wasnt."
"I dont know. I know that I'm not ready to be a mom, no matter who the father was." Rachel said.
They looked at each other for a long moment.
"I have that tape player for you." He said. He went off to the closet. "I better get it for you, he's gonna wonder where you are."
"Yeah." Rachel said as he went. "Do you have a blank tape? Its all part of my master plan." She reminded him.
"What are you gonna do again?" Chandler asked.
"I never told you, its a secret. But Janet and Greta know I'm gonna do something tomorrow morning. Even Pearl will be on the edge of her seat." Rachel said.
"Here you go." He handed her the player and two tapes. "Just in case you need another."
"Thanks." She smiled at him and went to the door. "I'll call you later, give you a play by play."
"I'll be waiting." Chandler waved to her.
The next day
After she parked Ross's car in her spot, he was sick so she drove herself, she gathered her tape and walked in. She was ten minutes late. From what she had heard yesterday the boss, Ms Boss Lady, was gonna make an annoucement of some type. Rachel walked into the building just as the boss was about to start talking. The boss was sitting on a desk in the middle of the room. She looked up.
"Ah I'm see everyone is here now." She said looking at her watch. "Now, I have something to say. We here have the great opportunity to sell to the entire nation. Thus we will be here longer, and more work for all of you. Meaning more money. Up to .25 cents more a call. If anyone has anything to say, please do so. We welcome all of your input."
Rachel raised her hand. "I have something to say." The boss nodded her way. "Already we work in imhuman conditions. The work is long and tedious and hurtful to our hands and feet. The cafeteria food isnt fit for dogs. Plus there are never enough tampax in the bathroom for everyone." Rachel reported. "Its horrible here, yet you expect us to spend more time here for chicken feed?" She shook her head. "I don't know about the rest of you." She looked at Greta, Pearl and Janet. "But I gotta say something about that." She picked up her tape player and pushed play on it. There was silence then there was the sound of Rachel warbling "Take this job and shove it."
"I don't want to work here no more." Rachel said along with the tape. It continued to play. "Anyone want to come with me?"
"No ones coming with you." The boss said turning to the group. "Everyone needs this job."
"I don't." Greta said standing. "I'm sorry, I got auditions during the day. I can't be here all day." She joined Rachel.
"I'm not staying here either." Janet said. "This job is beneath me, not even maggots would want this job." She stood next to Greta. There was a gasp and Pearl got up.
"This place bites." She simply said. Everyone else stood up, and the boss stood back. Rachel pushed stop on her tape player.
"Youre all leaving me?" She said aloud. The girls turned and walked out the door. Rachel leading the way. 20-30 girls left, no one staying behind except for the boss who stood shellshocked in the middle of the room.
As they reached the outside, Rachel looked at everyone.
"Wow, was that a Spartacus moment or what?" She asked.
"We couldnt have done it withouht you, honey." Greta hugged her. "No one else would have had the guts to get up and leave like that."
"Thanks." Rachel said. "Now what?"
"It'll come to you senorita." Janet said.
Pearl walked up to Rachel. "You are one ballsy chick. Even more than me. I respect you." She held up a fist in salute, then left.
"Wow, now I feel even better." Rachel said. "Will you guys be all right?"
"I'm fine, I got auditions for Evita tomorrow." Greta said.
"I'll be allright." Janet said. "I'll go back to being the translator for the govenor. Hes been wanting me back." She hugged her and left. Rachel got into her car.
"Great, everyone has something to do except me." She thought for a minute. Maybe someone can help me. She started the car and left the parking lot.
