Beyond Friends Episode Fifty Eight "Sleeping Single In A Double Bed"

Special Guests -
Paget Brewster as Kathy
Maggie Wheeler as Janice
Courteney Cox as Monica
Matt LeBlanc as Joey

"Two Of A Kind"

"Look at him." The first female voice said. "All alone in that big bed."
"I know." The second voice agreed. "Hes so cute."
The two women entered Chandlers room, barely tiptoeing. They approached Chandler bed and sat on opposing sides of the bed.
"Hey, he always sleeps like this." Janice said.
"I know, I was with him too you know." Kathy said.
"Right." Janice said. "So, what, do we got to flip for him or something?"
"Nah, why waste time?" Kathy said. "We can both have him. He always said there was enough to go around. Let's see if he's right."
"Yeah." Janice said.
They both leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

Chandler woke with a start. He sat up frantically and looked around himself on the bed. There was no one there. Kathy and Janice coming to him had been a dream. Just a silly dream.
He laid back and sighed. It was still dark, he could crash for another few hours if he wanted to. But he could barely sleep. He could barely contain the strange rumbling coming from his stomach.
"Thats the last time I eat Joeys leftover Taco-Buritto mix straight out of the box." He groaned.

Later

Chandler sighed as he brushed his teeth. He turned and looked in the mirror. He hadnt shaved in days. He ran his hand over his face. Briefly he wondered what he would look like if he left his new beard growth.
"Nah, I don't want to be mistaken for Son of Grizzly Adams." He thought as he whipped out his electric shaver.

Far away

Rachel rose with the dawn. She walked out of the balcony of Joeys cabana and watched the sun rise. It had a lovely purple-red hue. It looked like someone had set the sky on fire and had left it to a slow burn. Rachel rubbed her hands over her arms. It was a little cold and all she was wearing was a slip like nightgown that Ross had given her ages ago.
"I am definately here in Sau Paolo isle's off season." Rachel mused. "There would be tons of tourists out right now. I think I can stay awhile. At least no one knows I'm here, I can get some privacy." She said talking to herself. She stopped for second and resumed her thought in her mind. "At least I can get some thinking done." Rachel closed the door and went to dress. She stopped for a second.
"Chandler should know where I am." Rachel said. "It's only fair." She headed for the computer area. She picked up the phone and dialed the number.

Chandler was washing leftover soap off of his face when he heard the phone ring. He threw the towel aside as he went for the phone.
"Hello?" He said before the answering machine kicked on.
"Chandler?" Rachel said.
"Rachel?"
"Yeah, I thought I would tell you where I was." Rachel said.
"Where are you?" Chandler said. "You been gone for a week now."
"I know." Rachel said.
"Speak up, I can barely hear you." Chandler said over a bunch of crackling on the phone. "Its either static or you're eating rice crispies on the phone which is totally rude."
"I'm very far away." Rachel explained. "I'm in Sau Paolo, using Joeys cabana."
"Why?" Chandler asked.
"After what happened at the wedding I came here to think for a while. About what I really really want." Rachel said as she brushed her hair.
"When do you think you will be back?" Chandler said. A loud interferance scratched up Rachels response.
"I don't know." Rachel said.
"I can't hear you, Rachel." Chandler said.
"Chandler?"
"Rachel?" Chandler hit his phone on the counter, as if that would make any differance.
"Chandler?" Rachel said as the phone went dead.
"Rachel?" Chandler shook the phone. He tapped the buttons on the phone. Nothing.

Rachel hung up the phone. She then was startled by a loud knock at the door.
Rachel went to it, after grabbing a robe and wrapping it around herself.
"Hello?" She said as she opened it.
It was one of the so called bell hops. So called because she never got any help from the guy when she had to bring her army fleet of bags up to the cabana.
"Hi." The bellhop said. He had a spanish accent. "Sorry to disturb, our phones, they go dead. They be dead for some while. Cannot call off island, internet computer still working." He turned and left.
"Thanks!" Rachel shouted. "Don't expect a tip, you little weirdo." She said as soon as he was out of ear shot.

That night

Chandler had a stack of plain white paper besides him. He had been making paper airplanes for the last half an hour. Its been that long since he had talked to Rachel on the phone. A bizarre phone incident forced them off mid conversation. Sau Paolo was on the ridge of the Bermuda Triangle so any weirdness made sense. He found out the isles locale with a handy but outdated atlas. He was planning on waiting for her to call back as he didnt have the number to Joeys little cabana. He was settled into playing his phone nanny role when a knock came at the door.
He reluctantly got up and opened the door. It was Janice.
"Hi Bing a ling." Janice said in her nasally voice.
"Janice!" Chandler stuttered. "Wh-wh-what are you doing here?"
"I thought I would come over and say hi." Janice said.
"It's good to see you, I had a dream about you last night." Chandler said.
"What a coinky dink!" Janice said and laughed. "I dreamt that I was the first lady and you were president of the United States. What was your dream about?"
"Uh..." Chandler thought. Dont tell her that you dreamt you were in a weird sex dream with her and another old girlfriend, she'll think you're nuts! "Pretty much the same thing."
"Ahhh, so sweet." Janice kissed his cheek. "Thats why I love you Chandler, you never change." Janice turned to leave. "I gotta go. I'm flying to Las Vegas. I'm getting married to a night club owner, I'm having his baby." She touched her stomach with the flat of her hand."And it was only a one night stand too." She smiled and left.
"Wow, that sounds like a movie I might have seen." Chandler observed after Janice left. He was about to closed the door when something stopped it.
"Hey, watch it bub." Monica said.
"Hey Mon." Chandler said. "Whats up?"
"Whats up?" Monica said. "We havent seen you in days. I thought I'd come over and see if you were still alive." She moved toward him. "You mind if I take your pulse?"
"Go ahead. I don't need it." He said.
Monica took Chandlers arm and placed her fingers on his wrist. "You're fine."
"Thats what they all say." Chandler said. "You still havent said what you are doing here."
"I'm here for you." Monica said. "Got anything planned tonight?"
"Nope, not a damn thing." Chandler shook his head.
"Well good." Monica turned and whistled. Phoebe and Joey came around the corner with their kids.
"Hey guys!" Chandler said brightening up.
"We thought we would come over and play cards with you." Joey said as they entered the apartment. Phoebe smiled.
"Also, we brought you some huumus." She put a tupperware plate on the counter. Monica opened it and stuck a finger in and tasted it.
"It's been a long time since we played a good game of cards." Monica said hugging Chandler.
"Its been a while since I played cards period, let alone a good game of cards." Chandler said.
"All right." Joey said setting up the travel crib. Jenny and Jamie played oblivously in it. "Stay here, while we cheer uncle Chandler up."
Phoebe dug out her cards.
"Ok, we're playing hearts. Aces are good, and everything goes." Phoebe said as she doled out the cards.
"What are playing for here?" Chandler asked.
"How about babysitting time?" Joey said.
"How about, not a chance." Chandler said.
"Ok, ok." Joey said. He picked up his cards.
"Just don't use the cards to eat the hummus off, we had a hard time cleaning them the last time Joey did that." Phoebe said. "They make crackers for that purpose."
"Fine with me Pheebs." Chandler said.