Beyond Friends Episode Thirty Nine "Get a job"
Special Guests
Matt LeBlanc as Joey
Rodney Dangerfield as "Harem Sam" Whiton
"Working for the weekend"
Rachel picked up a tray of drinks and headed for her next table. She could not believe she had been working this strip joint as long as she had been. How long was it now? Months or years? It felt like forever. She expertly swiveled her hips to miss a unwanted customers hand on her tush but also tried to regain her balance.
"Ok." She said reaching her table. "Here are your drinks." She said sliding them in front of her customers. "Enjoy." Or dont, she thought, she stopped caring about these people weeks ago.
"Yo waitress!" A single male voice called from near the runway where the waitresses did their business.
"Keep your pants on, I mean it, I'll be right there." She called. She walked over and ripped off a full sheet on her notepad so she would have room to write the new order.
"Okay, what do you want?" She said not looking at the new customer.
"Rachel?" The voice called out.
"Yeah?" She looked up. "Joey?"
"What are you doing here?" He got up and they shared a hug.
"After the restaurant burned down I had to get another job." She said. "Please don't tell Chandler and Ross? They don't know I work here."
"Don't worry about it." Joey shrugged off. "Technically I'm not supposed to be in here either. I have a doctor appointment I'm trying to miss."
"Great." Rachel said. "Quick, give me your drink order, then I will have an excuse to come back."
"Okay." Joey aid a smiled. "A beer would be nice."
"Gotcha." Rachel turned and left.
Up in the apartment Chandler was all alone. It had been a week since he had found out who his dream girl really was. Chandler had done the impossible, fallen in love with a girl who didn't really exist anymore, plus he had managed to kiss her before she disapeared again.
He had told Rachel and Monica the whole story of what happened there in the graveyard but they had looked at him like he was crazy. Monica even went so far as to say he probably got hit in the head, but Chandler said he would have remembered that.
He had to get over her, he knew that but it was gonna be impossible. He didn't know why but ever since he met her he had the need to find out more about her. What happened to her that night at the night gallery when she died. And why no one could ever solve the case or find out who had taken this beautiful creature away from him before they had a chance to meet in real life.
She had said. "I had to die to meet the wonderful man alive." After that night he had done some readings. Naomi was what was referred to as a restless spirit, someone with unfinished business here in the material world. Chandler had already figure out that the business had to do with her death, she needed peace in herself before she could move on. But as of now, Chandler had no idea what do do in order to grant her that peace.
Chandler settled in his chair and fell asleep, hoping some rest would refresh his mind so he could look at the matter from a different perspective.
"Harem Sams"
Since Rachels break wasnt for another hour, she told Joey she could not plop down and talk to him like they would do if she were home. Joey was completely understanding. He started to follow her around so at least they could get a little chatting time in then.
"How long you been here?" Joey said looking around while Rachel filled her drink order.
"I don't know, a month or two. This is only temporary." Rachel said as if she felt a need to explain herself.
"Ok." Joey said. "I have an idea."
"I'm not supposed to date customers until I've been here a year." Rachel said.
"No no, no." Joey protested. "I need a personal assistant at Days of our restless children, cause the last once quit to be a soap actress herself."
"I'm sorry to hear that, but what does that have to do with me?" Rachel asked.
"Will you become my new personal assistant?" Joey asked smiling. "You already know me and my quirks and other stuff."
"I don't know." Rachel said finishing a drink. "I'd have to think it over."
"Hey, Rachel, babe," Harem Sam walked up to her. "I been looking for your cute tushy everywhere. You are very hard to catch, like a greased pig." He said looking at Rachel. "Speaking of greasy stuff, we are trying something new next month, chick wrestling in creamed corn and guess who is in the first match? You!" Sam said proudly. "What do you say toots? Do you want to go somewhere comfortable so I can see if the g-string fits." He finished with a suggestive leer.
Rachel stared blankly at him. She spent a lot of time thinking this offer over. Two seconds actually. She turned to Joey.
"When can I start?" She asked. Joey smiled and led her away.
"So then I changed out of that awful outfit and told Sam where to put it. I was out of there in less than five minutes." Rachel told Monica on the phone.
Monica was at home doing some final facts and figures on restaurant stuff. She would have been more detailed to Rachel about what she was song, but Monica knew that she didn't care about that.
"You are really gonna work for Joey?" Monica asked.
"Yeah, it was either that or come home covered and food and Chandler giving me a strange "What the hell do you do all day" look." Rachel said.
"You probably had a great swimsuit to do that in too." Monica inserted. "It does sound weird, I mean is the corn cooked or is it just fresh out of the can?"
Rachel scoffed. "Why does that matter? Some other sucker is doing it."
"Well, we'll see who the sucker is after you work for Joey for a while." Monica hung up the phone and returned to the kitchen table. Chandler was helping her with financial figures.
"That was Rachel?" Chandler asked working on a calculator.
"Yea. She has a new job." Monica said getting back to work.
"I don't even know what she did at her last job, do you know?" Chandler asked.
"She never told me either." Monica shrugged. "I'll let her tell you what shes doing now."
"Why can't you tell me?"
"Because chances are you will not believe me." Monica said tossing a scrap piece of paper in the trash.
"Try me."
"Shes gonna be Joeys personal assistant at the set of his soap." Monica said with a straight face.
"You're right." Chandler agreed. "I don't believe it."
Rachel sat outside Joeys dressing room door in a school dress and a pencil and some sheets of paper. She began to feel like a hall monitor or a kid taking a test. She had been there since she jumped ship at the strip club job. Rachel hoped she didnt look desperate when she quit and took Joeys job offer. If he noticed he didnt say anything about it. She looked up when Joey came out the door.
"Okay Rachel." Joey explained. "Simple duty. Four people will come here during my dress rehersal. I'll be gone. Anyawy, a new script is coming. He'll give it to you. What you do with that is you underline all of my lines so I know not what to read. Understand so far?"
Rachel nodded.
"Three women will be coming by. If they ask where I am, well be creative or something. I gotta go." Joey went down the hall.
"Great." Rachel said. "A well trained ape could do this job."
The script guy came right away. Rachel opened the script and got ready to underline the parts that read "Dr Jason Godfrey", then she noticed in this episode Joey only had one scene and three lines. She took her pencil and underlined everything she saw. A noise took her attention from her "simple duty". She looked up and saw a woman, she had cleared her throat to catch her attention.
"Hi. I'm Sandra Mae Jenkins. Joeys date for tonight." Sandra Mae said smiling.
"He's at rehersal." Rachel pointed. "You just missed him."
"Okay." Sandra Mae said. "I can wait."
She took a seat across from Rachel. Sandra Mae suggestively crossed her legs when she thought she heard Joey coming. It was amother woman.
"Hello. I'm Sarah Perkins." The second woman said. "I'm here for Joeys date tonight?"
"Well." Rachel said looking around. "He's not here."
"You're not Joeys date." Sandra Mae said rising. "I am."
"You are sadly mistaken." Sarah said. "I'm his date."
"You both are wrong." A third voice interuppted. "I am Michelle Davidson, and I am Joeys rightful date."
Michelle came down the hall. The threesome stared at each other.
"We'll see whos right." Sandra Mae drawled. "His personal assistant is right here. Honey..." She started and looked at the desk. "Funny, she was here a minute ago.
Rachel came through the door like a bat out of hell. She slammed the door.
"Hi!" She greeted Chandler. "I suppose you heard. I am not Joeys personal assitant. I am Joeys Bimbo wrangler. Along with keeping his scripts straight, I keep his ducks all in a row."
"Ha!" Chandler pointed at her. "Now you know what its like to live with him. Keeping all your Tiffanis and Jennifers from finding out about each other."
"Yeah. What fun." Rachel said. "At least I'm not at the club anymore." She gasped realizing she let something slip.
"Club?" Chandler asked.
"Dammit!" Rachel said. "I worked so hard at making Monica and Joey not tell you and Ross that I served as a waitress at some seedy strip club and I end up messing it up myself." She sat down. "After Monicas place burned down I needed another job. I didn't want to mooch of your or anyone else so Monica helped me find a job, any job. I was desperate."
"Oh Rachel." Chandler said. "I'm sorry you had to keep that secret from me. But I would not have had a problem with it."
"Really?" Rachel asked.
"Course not. But now you are Joeys assistant." Chandler said. "I don't know whether to laugh or cry."
"Laugh now, cry later." Rachel said. "I'm gonna go back. Joey doesnt now I hit the bricks after his three dates showed up at the same time."
"Ah." Chandler said. "Same old Joey."
"Better believe it." Rachel said went out the door.
