Beyond Friends Episode 28 "A Simple Twist Of Fate"
Guest Stars
Courteney Cox as Monica
Adam Sandler as Steve
"Baby What A Big Surprise"
Chandler was fussing with the living room chairs when Rachel cam home from work that night.
"Chandler I know you're tidying up but what are you doing?" Rachel said as Chandler finally put the chair in the position that he liked.
"Monica called today. She called to remind us this was our NBA night together." Chandler said. "Mon knew you were bound to forget too so shes gonna do all the food like usual."
"Ah, what time will she be here? I want time to have a shower." Rachel said out loud while thinking "I gotta wash stench ala strip club off of me" to herself.
"I smell beer." Chandler said looking at her as she trotted into the bathroom.
"Oh." Rachel said stopping by the door. Rachel didnt want Chandler to know she had to get a new waitressing job at a strip club call Harem Sams. So far he hadn't noticed but Rachel did tell him she had and a new job.
"Stupid thing really. I walked by a bar on the way home and a novice waiter walked into me." She shrugged.
"Ew." Chandler said. "Joey did that once. Ruined a nice rug."
Rachel smiled as she closed the door.
A few minutes later, certain she had been sterilized enough, Rachel put on her robe and crossed the living room to her room.
"By the way Rachel Monica said she had a surprise for us today."
"Really?"
"Yea. I was wondering if she had said anything to you about it."
"I know just as much as you do." Rachel said closing her door.
"Why does that frighten me?" Chandler said.
"I havent seen her since whats her name came over." Rachel said as she pulled herself together.
"Linda?"
"Thats the one."
"Yeah true."
There was a knock at the door.
"I'll get that." Chandler said as he sprinted across the room. He opened the door. It was Monica.
"Hey guys!" Monica said coming in. She closed the door behind her with one hand. She held a stack of tupperware in her left hand.
"Hey." Chandler said taking the tupperware off her hands. "Whats this?"
"Pigs in a blanket. This time I made enough for two overtimes if it should ever happen again." Monica looked over the apartment. "Ah, you fung swi'd everything just for me?"
"I meant the tupperware. These things are harder to get into than Fort Knox."
"Ha Ha." Monica said opening one for him. "See?" She tossed the cover aside. "I ordered WAY too many for the restaurant leftovers. I had to do something with them."
Rachel entered the room with her tank top and some shorts on.
"Its inhumanly hot today." Rachel said sitting on the couch.
"Hey Rachel."
"Rach, you are aware you look like one of these?"
Chandler said holding up his pig in a blanket. Monica chuckled while unloading some Doritos in a bowl.
"Oh!" Rachel jumped up. "OW!!"
"What?" Chandler and Monica said at the same time.
"I stuck to the seat." She said brushing off her back. "I'll be right back."
"Rach, I'll come wit. I'll show you what to wear today." Monica said coming around the counter.
"Thanks mommy but I think I can manage."
"I wanna talk to you." Monica winked. Rachel stared at her for a minute.
"Oh!" Rachel said after realizing Monica didn't have anything stuck in her eye. "Come on in."
After getting into Rachels room Monica sat on her bed.
"Is this about the surprise?" Rachel asked.
"No, no, no." Monica said. "Thats later. I came to ask about work."
"Do you want the truth or a carefully planned lie?"
"Truth."
"I hate it!" Rachel said trying not to be loud. "I have to wear a skimpy outfit that is chafing me in places I didn't know I can chafe before. And the men! UG! They may be great upstanding parts of the community outside of the club but once you show up in one of these places, they all turn into animals, every last one of them!"
"Then why don't you quit?"
"I can't!" Rachel said sitting next to Monica. "For reasons I mentioned before."
"Thats not your problem." Monica said hugging Rachel. "You're like me. Stubborn and unable to admit you need someone elses help."
"Yeah."
"Let's go out there. I have my surprise to announce and I don't think it will wait anymore."
Rachel and Monica went out into the living room.Chandler had settled into his living room chair with his pigs in a blanket.
"Hey!" Chandler said pointing at the tv set. "Joeys gonna sing the national anthem!"
"What?" Monica and Rachel said.
"But why?" Rachel asked.
"Beats me." Chandler shrugged."They must be desperate, I've heard him sing in the shower. Dude can't carry a tune to save his own little life."
"Guys I gotta talk to you." Monica said switching off the tv as Joey began to sing.
"What?"
"Well." Monica said. "Theres no way to say this but to just say and I guess I'll say it. I think I'll say it."
"Just say it." Chandler said.
"Ok." Monica showed Chandler and Monica her hand. "I'm getting married!"
"What?"
"I'm engaged!" Monica said. "And you won't believe who either."
"Who?" Chandler asked. "David Hasselhoff?"
"No!" Monica said thinking for a sec. "Not unless my standards in men have dipped that low." She shook her head. "He's waiting outside."
"Go get him." Chandler said. "We're gonna miss opening tip off."
Monica crossed the room and opened the door. She poked her head outside for a few seconds then she brought in who they figured was her fiance.
"Here he is." Monica said. "My fiance."
Rachel turned and Chandler stood up and turned around. Their mouths fell open as they saw who the lucky man was.
It was Steve, the guy Chandler set up on a blind date with Monica not long ago.
"Oh my god!" Chandler and Rachel said.
"I know." Monica said wrapping her arm around his back. "Isnt he something?"
"Something all right." Chandler said.
"How...why...no how did this uh happen?" Rachel asked.
"After that date Steve called up and apologized for the way he acted at the dinner. He was very very nervous."
"I get that way on blind dates." Steve said smiling. "If you're wondering how I got her phone number, it's in the phone book."
"Natch." Chandler said.
"Anyway I decided to give him another chance." Monica said smiling at Steve. "And its worked out so well! I don't know if we are moving too fast or not."
"Well honey, compared to Drew Barrymores last marriage, we're in a long engagement."
"Ah." Rachel agreed. She leaned into Chandler. "Can I talk to you?"
"Sure." He whispered back. "I gotta go to the bathroom." Chandler said heading toward the bathroom door.
"Wait for me." Rachel said.
"Does she gotta help him pee?" Steve asked Monica.
"I'm sure they are talking about how they reacted to us.
It's no big thing. Let's go watch the game."
In the bathroom
"Oh my god." Rachel said.
"I thought we passed the oh my god stage three minutes ago." Chandler noted while he perched on the tubs edge.
"I know that love is blind but retarded too?" Rachel said. "She's gonna marry cannibal boy!"
"Yeah." Chandler said. "What can we do?"
"Nothing actually." Rachel said standing. "After all it is her decision."
"Right." Chandler said. "Then what are we doing here?"
"We are gonna support her." Rachel said with her hand on the door. "Let's just hope she doesnt make us part of the wedding."
"Rachel it is so good to know that you are so supportive of me and Steve we want you and Chandler to be part of this beautfiul moment." Monica said hugging Rachel. "I want you to be my maid of honor and Steve wants Chandler to be his best man." Monica said smiling and holding out her arms as if to say "ta da" "What do you think?"
"Great." Rachel said looking at Chandler. "Sure I will be your maid of honor."
Chandler smiled back.
"We're gonna be one happy family." Monica said. "I gotta go. We have a dress fitting tommorrow." Monica and Steve headed for the door. "See you there!"
Rachel and Chandler sank into their chairs.
"What did we get ourselves into?" Chandler asked.
"I dunno. But I think I'm stuck to the seat again."
