Beyond Friends Episode 106 "I quit"

Special Guests
David Schwimmer as Ross
Tea Leoni as Linda
Bruce Willis as Wesley

He's Single Again


Chandler and Wesley went to a hockey game. They were sitting close to the glass watching a Rangers game. They were winning by a goal. Chandler had just gotten back from getting a snack when he decided to tell Wesley something.
"I gotta tell you something." Chandler said.
"What? That you're really a woman?" Wesley asked.
"Nope, about Linda." He replied.
"Linda, I don't want to think about her. Shes like the human equivalent to ipicac." Wesley said eating his hotdog in a healthy gulp.
"This is important." Chandler said. "Linda came on to me at the office.."
"What? When did this happen?" Wesley asked.
"Last week." Chandler said.
"Oh my god!" Wesley said. "Does Rachel know?"
"Somewhat, I didnt tell her everything." He explained.
"What are you gonna do?"
"I dont know. I think as long as Linda is working with me she wont leave me alone."
"True." Wesley said. "You're gonna have to quit."
"I like this job." Chandler said slowly.
"Do you ever want to get caught in an elevator with her? Must I remind you of the Aerosmith song?" Wesley asked.
"You're right." Chandler said. He patted Wesley on the back. "What if she wont let me go?"
"I don't think that will happen." Wesley said. "Trust me."
"Right." Chandler said gathering his courage. "Here I go."


Rachel went outside to check the mail. The mailbox had been moved to stop a series of bizarre mail robberies.
"I might be a millionaire." Rachel mused looking at a mail in contest letter. "I might be Betty Rubble too." She tossed it away. She had moved on to another piece of forboding junk mail when someone had handed her the envelope.
"Something get away from you?" The voice said. Rachel turned. It was Ross.
"Hey." She said and hugged him. "Havent seen you in a while."
"Careful with these damn envelopes, you can poke an eye out." Ross said putting the envelope back on her pile.
"I'm never gonna win." She said laughing. They entered the apartment hallway.
"Never say never." Ross said glumly.
"Whoa, you could be in a better mood." Rachel said. "Whats wrong?"
"Regina. Shes gone." Ross said.
"Oh my god I'm sorry." Rachel said. "Do you know why?"
"She thinks I'm too boring. Imagine that!" Ross said. "Besides, I got the feeling shes been seeing someone else lately."
"But you havent been together that long." Rachel said.
"I know." Ross nodded. "Its possible she stopped seeing him and then decided that her old boyfriend was better. It was either that or wait for the next best thing."
"Anything I can do?" Rachel asked as they approached the apartment.
"Yeah. Be there." Ross said. "I have such bad luck with women! Its a wonder I havent become a monk by now." He smiled.
"You'll find someone someday." Rachel said. She leaned over and kissed Ross on the cheek. She looked up when she thought she heard something on the stairs. "What was that?"
"Nothing, I think." Ross said. "Whatever it was left pretty quickly.
"Ok." Rachel said.
"I gotta go now." Ross said. "I'm meeting Monica for dinner."
"Have fun." Rachel said as she closed the door. Ross went down the stairs and went out the door. There was a sort of pause in the area next to the stairs. Then Chandler came out and looked upstairs.
"Is that what I think it is?" He said himself. "Nah." He said then ascended the stairs.

Rachel was sitting in a chair with one of Chandlers big shirts on.
"Hey you." She said. "I thought I could either iron this shirt or wear it."
"I got a better idea." Chandler said as he approached her. "How about you not wear it."
"Me likee." She smiled and kissed him on the lips. He kissed back slowly. "Whats wrong."
"I'm going to quit the job, I know that for sure now." Chandler said.
"Are you sure you want to?" Rachel said. "That five grand could vanish pretty quickly."
"I'm sure." Chandler said. "I don't want to think about that now. I want to think about the ways I can get you out of that shirt." He said and took her hand.
"I can think of one." Rachel said and closed the door.


Chandlers office

Chandler waited for the letter to print out. He had arrived earlier so he could type of the letter of resignation that he planned on taking to Linda. He had several things to say. Wesley, being him, offered many so called helpful suggestions - one of them being that he told her where to go and what to do there. Chandler nixed all the ideas, though many were funny. He wanted a referance, and a good one if he could manage it.

He reread the letter. He looked up as he saw Wesley pass by. He gave him a thumbs up sign. It made him feel better. Chandler folded the letter and headed for Lindas corner office.

Lindas Office

"I'm here to see Linda." Chandler said to the secretary.
"She's been expecting you." The secretary said.
"Really?" Chandler said. "Imagine that."
The secretary buzzed Linda. "Mr Bing is here." She said.
"Good, send him in." The intercom answered.
"Go right in." The secretary said.
"Thanks." Chandler said and went through the door. He unfolded his letter. As he looked up he stepped back. Linda was lying on top of her desk in a white see-through nightie. It barely covered up what it was supposed to. She smiled. "Now can we get back together?" She cooed.
"No!" Chandler thundered. "I can't believe you would do this."
"Me neither. I think I have the stapler rammed up my..."
"No!" Chandler said stopping her in mid sentance. "Thats it, it has to stop. Right here and now." He pitched the letter at her. It landed in front of her folded up. "I came to tell you I quit."
"You can't quit. You're mine." Linda said her face turning to stone. "You might as well come over here."
"No." Chandler said quietly "Not this time." He opened the door. "Not ever." He said going out the door.
Linda yelled to him. "You're gonna regret leaving me here like this!" She whined. "I have nothing to change into!"

Home

Chandler walked up the stairs to this apartment. He was about to open the door when faint sounds of laughing came out the door. He poked it open. Ross and Rachel were at the kitchen table laughing and drinking wine. They had had a nice dinner.
"Ross? Rachel?" Chandler said.
"Chandler!" Rachel said. "This is not how it looks!"
"Yeah, yeah." Chandler said still miffed from his encounter at work. "I GOT it!" HE said and slammed the door.
"Oh no." Rachel said tearfully.